“You Are Just So Beautiful.”
If you’ve visited my blog before and read some of my posts, you’ll know that three years ago I lost over two stone and went from a size 14 down to a size 10.
When I reached my target weight in 2014 it felt great and I was perfectly happy with my new svelte figure. Weight loss brings with it the fun of shopping for new clothes and with a new slimmer figure and size 10 in everything, clothes shopping was super easy! The task that follows is to keep the weight off and maintain your new figure. So when did the image looking back at me in the mirror change? I would guess that for two years I was happy with my new figure and it was only around a year ago that when I look in the mirror I can pick a multitude of faults. Despite knowing my measurements are all way smaller than they were three years ago, my eyes somehow don’t see it.
“You are more than just a number, you are beautiful.”
If you’d asked me to describe my current physical appearance yesterday I would have said my thighs are huge. I’m not joking, they’re massive and when I catch a glimpse of the rear view, my backside is wider than it was when I was a size 14. My tummy is the spongiest it has ever been and my boobs are like those little beanbags that the kids throw on sports day. I’ve heard this is a real issue with people who lose weight. After the initial delight, a bit of body dysmorphia can kick in and your mind struggles to catch up and not pick faults with your new reflection. What happens next is an urge to be stricter with your eating habits and an urge to over exercise in the hope of fixing all of these ‘faults’.
Then yesterday evening my 5 year old daughter was sat on my knee while we watched the boys play Mario Kart (seriously how frustrating is that game?) and she’d been sat there a little while cuddling in and exchanging kisses when she turned around to me and said “Mammy, you are my best person in the whole wide world” then she paused, stared at me and finished with “you are just so beautiful.” It’s bringing tears to my eyes just writing it. My daughter doesn’t give a shit if I have big thighs, a wide bum, spongy tummy and saggy boobs. When she looks at me she sees her world and the reality is, when I have a word with myself, I know that I don’t look like that. I will be a strong woman for her to look up to and she will never catch me grabbing at lumps of fat in front of the mirror or complaining about my so called faults because she needs to learn about self love and self confidence. I’m a mother of two and with that comes body changes and scars. And do you know what? I wouldn’t change it for a thing!
Do you have days where you really don’t like what’s looking back at you in the mirror?